Chinese Launch Spy Balloon Aimed At Unraveling The Secrets Of Classified Fork Technology | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

Publisher's Note: Following this noteworthy and infamous story regarding the Chinese Spy Balloon caper, an inarguable embarrassment for the feckless Biden Administration, will be this series of posts, an archival history, chronicling the Misinformational Misadventure that wholly embarrassed this leader of the Democratic Socialists' Authoritarian regime.

    BEIJING     As American media outlets buzzed with stories about the mysterious balloon spotted flying over the state of Montana, new reports leaking out from Chinese sources appear to confirm that the spy balloon was launched in an effort to discover secrets about classified fork technology.

    "We have been searching for decades to unlock the secrets behind the fork," said a member of the Chinese Communist Party under the condition of anonymity. "We have held on so tightly to the use of chopsticks for so long, but learning about the West's use of this fork object could revolutionize our culture."

    The Biden administration had expressed hesitation to give the order to have the balloon shot down, leading some to believe the government had insider knowledge about the spy apparatus's true purpose. "We know the Chinese have been after our fork technology for many years," said a high-ranking government official after being guaranteed his identity would be kept secret. "The President seems unconcerned - almost willing to comply, even, but there is a growing fear that letting the Chinese learn about forks could upset the balance of power on the global stage."

    Additional intelligence gathered about secret Chinese spy missions indicate the CCP is also keen to find out how Americans survive without everyone wearing pointy straw hats and also to develop plans to keep opening up millions of nail salons throughout the United States.

    At publishing time, Montana residents were continuing to stand outside and gawk at the slowly passing balloon, despite the knowledge that the CCP was likely simultaneously scanning their thoughts and deploying the latest U.S.-funded, China-developed global virus.

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Among the many other lackluster performance standards by the Biden Administration - the most recent, allowing the Chinese Spy Balloon unfettered access to the skies above this Sovereign Republic - Joe Biden's foreign policy is considered by most true experts to be mediocre to abysmal at best. If one were to give a fair assessment of the quality of this apex duty of this Executive Branch: What would be your opinion of the Biden Administration's Foreign Policy initiatives and, or obvious faux pas?

  President Biden is a Foreign Policy expert of consummate skill just like his brother, Jim, and his son, Hunter.

  America's First Idiot President is corruptly committed to making the World far less safe, while surrendering OUR United States of America's sovereignty whenever, wherever possible.

  Mr. Biden is MY President because I pay close attention to only what rewards me, thus demanding as little sacrifice as is my nature to offer, or shrug.

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