Ladies, Here's What's Going Through Your Man's Head Right Now: 17 Things He's Thinking | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Hey ladies, have you ever just stared at your man and wondered what he was thinking? Relax! Your man isn't thinking about other women. We assembled a panel of man experts (who are men) and they've compiled a definitive list of things your man is currently pondering.

    Here are the 17 things your man could be thinking at this exact moment. (Only one at a time)

1. I bet I could do a pullup on that rafter.
2. Nachos sound really good right about now.
3. "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
4. Why didn't Sauron turtle his forces knowing Mt. Doom was the only way the Ring would be destroyed?
5. Christ is King.
6. I bet I could beat everyone here in a footrace.
7. Wall. Couch. Door. Hands. (Basically whatever his eyes are looking at)
8. Lamp.
9. How many Highlander movies did they end up making?
10. Why did Sean Connery help Connor MacLeod if they were destined to destroy each other?
11. Do I own Highlander?
12. "Alexa, order Highlander on Blu-ray."
13. Where is the best cover in case I have to draw my weapon against an evil Commie attacker?
14. Huh. That pain is back.
15. I bet my life would be completely different if I were named Boaz.
16. Just gonna' glance down at my biceps to make sure they still look swole. Yup.
17. I wonder if the kids are old enough to watch Highlander.

    Note: This is an exhaustive list of things men think about. There are no other things.