Don Lemon Watches 'What Is A Woman?' To Find Out What A Woman Is | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK, NY     CNN anchor Don Lemon is reportedly watching Matt Walsh's What Is A Woman? documentary in an effort to better understand his female co-hosts and stop saying stupid things.

    Lemon sparked controversy earlier this week with purportedly sexist comments made during a taping of CNN This Morning in which he said 51-year-old presidential hopeful Nikki Hayley was past her prime because she's not a sexy 20-something. The controversial CNN host argued the point with co-hosts Poppy Harlow and Kaitlan Collins before finally admitting he didn't even know what a woman was.

    "What is that? A toaster or something? I like toast!" Lemon interjected as Harlow berated him for offensive statements.

    "A woman is a female! We're women!" Collins had explained at the time, motioning to herself and Harlow.

    "I don't get it," Lemon said at an editorial meeting with his colleagues later in the week. "Can someone please explain to me what a woman is? I looked it up on Google and it wasn't clear."

    According to sources, CEO Christ Licht told Lemon to watch What Is A Woman? and stop wasting everyone's time.

    Lemon has reportedly enjoyed his viewing of the popular documentary. The simple question, repeated over and over throughout, has helped him get a solid grasp on the topic. He also felt encouraged to see so many people in the film struggle with the question the same as him.

    "I get it now," Lemon said in a public apology. "Men have a pee pee and women have a hoo-ha."

    He continued, "I thought only men existed. Boy, was I wrong! Wow, come to think of it, women are pretty neat!"

    At publishing time, Don Lemon is now heterosexual.

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?
  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.
  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.
  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?
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