Sixth Grader Swears His Science Homework Was Blown Up By A Sidewinder Missile | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BRANSON, MO     A young local student was forced to defend his integrity after his science project - a homemade weather balloon designed to collect atmospheric data - was destroyed by a Sidewinder missile fired from a strafing F-22 fighter jet.

    "It wasn't my fault, I swear!" said Jared Gingles when questioned about his story. "I built the balloon, I tested it to make sure it worked, and when I was doing the final steps of the assignment, my homework was blown out of the sky by military aircraft."

    Though Jared had never been a problem student, his teacher found his outlandish excuse difficult to believe. "I've been a schoolteacher for over 30 years," said Carla Riley. "I've heard just about every excuse there is, but this one about the United States Air Force shooting down a sixth-grade science project really takes the cake."

    Despite skepticism from the school's faculty, Jared was adamant that he was telling the truth. "Why would I possibly make up something like that?!" he asked incredulously. "If I was going to make up an excuse for not doing my homework, I would at least make it sound more believable than that!"

    At publishing time, Jared had been granted another chance to complete his homework project, though the new assignment - doing a report on a fully functioning food processing plant - was proving somewhat difficult.