Jimmy Kimmel Runs Tonight's Jokes By President Xi For Approval | Eastern NC Now

According to inside sources, comedian Jimmy Kimmel is currently running tonight's Jimmy Kimmel Live! jokes by CCP President Xi for approval, as is his daily custom.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    LOS ANGELES, CA     According to inside sources, comedian Jimmy Kimmel is currently running tonight's Jimmy Kimmel Live! jokes by CCP President Xi for approval, as is his daily custom.

    "We have a tremendous round of hilarious jokes for you, O Most Excellent Xi," a nervous Kimmel was overheard saying. "Tonight, I'm going to tell a good one about how President Trump smells like poop. And then I'll tell unvaccinated people to die! Funny, right?"

    "Ha Ha Ha. Yes, Jimmy. Velly funny," Xi replied.

    Sources say the leader of China benevolently approved all Kimmel's jokes but required him to add at least one hilarious quip about how anyone who says COVID came from the Wuhan lab is a vile racist who should be sent to a Chinese concentration camp.

    "Oh, that is a hilarious one, Your Worship!" exclaimed the beloved late-night host. "We will add it to our show right away! Thank you for your most valuable feedback, O Handsome One Who Looks Nothing Like Winnie The Pooh!"

    At publishing time, Kimmel was seen running the remainder of his show by several Pfizer execs.

poll#177
Considering the irrefutable fact that the Left /the Democratic Socialists, beginning in March of 2020, employed the repetitive use of the Covid Pandemic as a political cudgel to wrest a presidential election, where their candidate rarely left his basement, from a frightened and beaten down citizenry of this Representative Republic: What does your knowledge NOW, in hindsight, aid in your understanding of the motives of the Authoritarian Left?
  The "Left" cares about all Democratics, so it was imperative that we do whatever it took to elect a lifelong politician to become that Democratic Socialist to forever change US.
  Pandemics are serious business, where our leaders must use wisdom and practicable efforts of all that serve to protect the public from not only the pandemic, but these ignoble usurpers of the Left.
  I lost almost everything in the Covid Pandemic, and I want justice; a justice where only the truth prevails, and the rampant fraud that is now legend is remedied.
163 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Man Makes Sure Windows Rolled Up Tight Before Blasting 'The Greatest Showman' Soundtrack Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Governor Cooper Proclaims March 2023 as Students@Work℠ Month


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Spanberger signed HB167, the law that eliminated the tax exemption for various confederacy-linked groups
as RINO incumbents Cornyn in Texas and Cassidy in Louisiana trail in the polls

HbAD1

government's offer is rejected, the battle continues, no confidence vote in parliament

HbAD2

Understanding how parties work is important for making informed decisions regarding elected officials.
Tax Day is a week away, and the reports are in: North Carolinians are winning big with record-setting tax returns thanks to President Trump and Republicans' Working Families Tax Cuts.
“It is a trust fund, a piece of the American economy for every child that they will be able to take out when they are 18.”
farmers, truckers and supporters block roads, fuel deports, and ports to protest climate taxes on fuel
Sunrise Movement which focuses on climate alarmist is now engaged with illegal immigration

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top