'Ugh, Why Didn't We Just Die In Egypt??' Cries Israelite After Stubbing Toe | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    MT SINAI     After being freed from slavery by the God of Abraham, witnessing 10 terrible plagues against Pharaoh, and walking across the Red Sea on dry ground to escape from Egypt's army, Kemuel son of Bahram, of the tribe of Benjamin, is demanding to be brought back to die in Egypt after stubbing his big toe on a sharp rock.

    "CURSE the day I was born!" said Kemuel while rolling around on the ground and clutching his foot. "Moses has deceived us, and has brought us into this accursed land just for us to stub our toes! It would have been better if I had died in Egypt as a slave! I would have been even better if my mother had never borne me!"

    "OW, MY TOE!"

    Sources say dozens of similar complaints have arisen from the people including splinters in fingers, skinned knees, and rumbly tummies due to missing 9th-hour snack time. Critics of Moses say that while they were forced to work in mud pits 20 hours per day making bricks for Pharoah, at least there weren't any sharp rocks on which to stub one's toes. "Yeah, this was a mistake, let's go back," said one Israelite while applying ointment to a sunburn.

    At publishing time, several people had planned to confront Moses but learned he had left them to climb nearby Mount Sinai, presumably to get away from them.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




AOC Proposes Nationwide Ban On Straws After Learning Trump Won Straw Poll Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics List Of Side Effects From Drug Commercial Just Sounds Like 40-Year-Old Man's Typical Tuesday Afternoon


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

President Joe Biden took direct aim at Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas during a recent interview, referring to him simply as “the guy who likes to spend a lot of time on yachts.”
The best way the county and city can help hold down inflation is to resist all tax increases
Pope Francis lambasted leftist gender ideology during an address this week, warning that it presented an extreme danger to mankind.
amnesty would just encourage more illegal aliens to storm our borders
The Christmas candy was barely off the shelves when the Valentine’s candy appeared. Red and pink hearts with caramel and nut-filled chocolate goodness caught our eye. We are reminded of how we love love. Young love, especially.
far left sugar daddy has also funded anti-Israel groups and politicians in US
Be careful what you wish for, you may get it
America needs to wake up and get its priorities right

HbAD1

Former President Donald Trump suggested this week that if he becomes president again, he might allow Prince Harry to be deported.
It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:
Vice President Kamala Harris will visit a Minnesota Planned Parenthood clinic, reportedly the first time a president or vice president has visited an abortion facility.
An eight-mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway near Asheville has been temporarily closed due to a string of “human and bear interactions,” the National Parks Service announced.
University of Wisconsin tried to punish conservatives for the fact that liberals regularly commit crimes to silence opposition
most voters think EU officials not doing a good job on illegal immigration
Come from behind by GOP candidate is a blueprint to 2024
Biden spending and energy policies to blame

HbAD2

Tuberculosis carried by illegal invaders has already infected Texas cattle
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) said this week that the only campaign promise President Joe Biden has delivered on as president is the complete dismantling of the U.S. southern border.
Hamas is reeling after losing two of their most cherished leaders on the same day: military commander Saleh al-Arouri, and Harvard President Claudine Gay.
President Joe Biden’s brother told the Internal Revenue Service that Hunter Biden told him he was in business with a “protege of President Xi,” referring to the leader of China, according to notes by an IRS investigator that were divulged during a congressional interview of Jim Biden.
Gov. Roy Cooper seeks a temporary restraining order to block a law changing the composition of the State Board of Elections.
X owner Elon Musk mocked a news segment from ABC News this week that promoted President Joe Biden’s talking points about the Democrat-led Senate’s failed border bill, which critics and many experts have said would make the situation on the border worse.
That’s the question Marguerite Roza of Georgetown University’s Edunomics Lab sought to answer in a recent webinar on the topic.
The University of Florida has fired all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) employees and shut down its DEI office.
Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top