Trump's Been Indicted. Here Are The 9 Things That Happen Next | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

Publisher's Note: This series of posts on this one issue - The Unprecedented FBI Raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Estate - can all be found here on ENC NOW.

    Now that former President Trump has officially been indicted, everyone wants to know how this whole ordeal will unfold. Here are the nine things that will be happening next:

  1. Trump will take the best, most beautiful mugshot the world has ever seen - that NFT is going to be YUGE.
  2. The entire NYPD will wait in line to take selfies with him - it's tough being a hated criminal.
  3. Trump will be stripped nude and marched through the city with a pagan priest yelling "shame!" and ringing a bell - pretty standard.
  4. Trump's lawyers will file to dismiss the case on the grounds that a man and his mistress can't be charged with the same crime - checkmate, Alvin!
  5. The judge will then determine Trump's guilt by having him tossed into the Hudson to see if he floats - luckily, Big Macs are pretty buoyant.
  6. Trump will be thrown in jail, where Epstein's prison guards will be called out of retirement for one last mission - uh oh!
  7. Dementors will attempt to suck Trump's life force away, but he will ward them off with a patronus of himself - we hear it takes the shape of a buffalo.
  8. Trump will escape prison by slowly tunneling his way out behind a poster of Stormy Daniels - brilliant.

    Every other politician will also be arrested for their crimes - hahahaha just kidding!

    It's going to be a wild few weeks! Buckle up!!

Was it a judicious ploy for Joe Biden's FBI to execute the unprecedented raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate?
  Yes; the Cheneys despise this former Republican president, and for good reason ... so they say.
  No; never has a former president been treated with this level of vindictive abuse by those temporarily in power.
  Who cares? It's Trump.
857 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

Considering what many of the most revered legal experts of this age consider a political persecution by the infamous and ignoble New York District Attorney Alvan Bragg: Should the historic, unprecedented indictment of 45th President Donald Trump be considered as a benefit, or a liability to the sustainability of OUR Constitutional Republic?
  Liability, our nation is in peril, as we are losing our "Rule of Law" integrity.
  Benefit, losing our "Rule of Law" integrity is secondary to destroying Donald Trump.
  I mostly worry about losing my Tik Tok.
89 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

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