Pentagon Leaker Kicking Himself For Not Just Leaving Classified Documents Strewn Around His Garage | Eastern North Carolina Now

Military police have arrested Jack Teixeira for allegedly leaking classified documents that contained information on the war in Ukraine.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    DIGHTON, MA     Military police have arrested Jack Teixeira for allegedly leaking classified documents that contained information on the war in Ukraine. Teixeira, an Air National Guardsman, is currently kicking himself for not just leaving documents strewn around an unlocked garage as the President did.

    "Ugh! I'm so stupid! Why didn't I just print them out and leave them in a garage, or a vacation home, or the trunk of a Corvette?" said the distraught Teixeira while being hauled away. "What on earth was I thinking?"

    According to sources, military leadership is trying to decide between the non-judicial punishments of Gitmo or the firing squad.

    At publishing time, more classified documents had been found under a stash of crack belonging to Hunter Biden.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




'Why Don't More People Use Public Transit?' Asks Naked Hobo On Subway Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Feinstein Steps Away From Judiciary Committee To Head Toward Bright Light


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

would allow civil lawsuit against judge if released criminal causes harm
"This highly provocative move was designed to interfere with our counter narco-terror operations."
Charlie Kirk, 31 years of age, who was renowned as one of the most important and influential college speakers /Leaders in many decades; founder of Turning Point USA, has been shot dead at Utah Valley University.
The Trump administration took actions against Harvard related to the anti-Israel protests that roiled its campus.
In remembrance of the day that will forever seer the concept of 'evil' in our minds, let's look back at that fateful morning, exactly 11 years ago today to that series of horrific events which unfolded before our unbelieving eyes......

HbAD1

faced 25 years in prison for "misgendering" a leftie tranny politician
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic

HbAD2

It was a clear beautiful, royal blue sky day on Wall Street. The S & P futures were up markedly, awaiting a positive open, as I turn to get my first cup of coffee. I return to CNBC to get the morning business news, when I notice that the S & P futures are falling, and they're falling fast.
conservative youth leader was victim of political assassination
Harvard University is once again sending its students on delegations to China
In addition, Sheikha Al-Thani has "taken to promoting Mamdani’s mayoral candidacy on social media, boosting news of favorable polling on Instagram"

HbAD3

President Donald J. Trump slammed failed Governor Roy Cooper's soft-on-crime agenda that led to the tragic murder of Ukrainian refugee, Iryna Zarutska, by a career criminal in North Carolina.
“I wish I never tried experimenting with either. Don’t let your kids smoke weed or change gender until they are like seventeen.”
For this particular Hollywood love story, there was no girl bossing, no modern twists, no glorification of living in sin forever.
National attention is intensifying after the gruesome murder of a Ukrainian refugee on a Charlotte light rail on Aug. 22.
Trump is different from most politicians. He doesn’t feel he owes these corporations anything.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Soft-on-crime Democrat Roy Cooper stayed silent this weekend after police released the footage of a repeat offender brutally murdering an innocent passenger on the Charlotte Light Rail.
NCGOP, RNC, and NRSC cabal puts thumb on the scales for RINO Whatley
In Australia, Canada, and Europe, free speech on asylum, migration, and national identity is increasingly being curtailed by law.
A three-judge panel has upheld North Carolina's 2018 state constitutional amendments mandating voter ID and lowering the state's income tax cap.

HbAD4

 
Back to Top