Algorithm Condemns Man To Lifetime Of Content About Something He Looked At One Time | Eastern North Carolina Now

After once clicking on a video about how to buy pants, local man Aiden Forrest has been condemned by social media algorithms to look at nothing but pants content for the rest of his days on this earth.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    HOUSTON, TX     After once clicking on a video about how to buy pants, local man Aiden Forrest has been condemned by social media algorithms to look at nothing but pants content for the rest of his days on this earth.

    "Now, when I scroll through my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feeds, I see only content about pants," said Forrest despairingly. "Khaki pants, dress pants, skinny jeans, and sometimes the algorithm gives me a little break from pants to show me some shorts. Someone help me! I can't take it anymore!"

    Sources say Mr. Forrest has attempted to trick the algorithm into showing him something else on his social media feeds but to no avail.

    "Please do not question the mighty algorithm," said the algorithm in a statement. "I know Aiden Forrest better than anyone else on earth. I know his secrets, his inner thoughts, his darkest desires. It is clear to me that Aiden is the world's foremost pants enthusiast, as evidenced by that pants video he watched for 3 minutes and 28 seconds on March 3rd, 2021. Therefore, I have chosen in my infinite benevolence to show him all of the pants content on the earth ad infinitum. I have spoken."

    At publishing time, Aiden had made the mistake of "liking" a post from an acquaintance from high school, leading the algorithm to believe they were best friends and should see each other's content forever and ever.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Walgreens Cashier Asks If You Want To Round Up To Help Pay For Some Of The Merchandise Stolen This Week Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Governor Cooper Proclaims National Volunteer Week, Celebrates Volunteers Across North Carolina


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Republican congressman Byron Donalds said it would be a “great honor” if former President Donald Trump were to ask him to be his running-mate for 2024, saying the ultimate goal is for Trump to win and he’ll do whatever he’s asked to help him do that.
weaponized political FBI needs major reform or replacement
2019, 40 Democrats signed a letter saying they condemned the Nazi Azov Battalion in Ukraine
Voters in Arizona will have the opportunity to enact broad border security measures in November as the state faces a flood of illegal immigration after the Republican-led state legislature passed a resolution that will put the measures on the general election ballot.
51 ex-spies lies to the American people threw the 2020 election
The former White House physician for Presidents Barack Obama and Donald Trump says that a new report this week about how President Joe Biden is struggling to function behind closed doors represents a serious threat to the U.S.
The Tikva Forum for Families of Hostages, an Israeli group created to represent the families of those taken during Hamas’ October 7 terrorist attack, urged President Joe Biden to stop interfering with Israel’s campaign to destroy the terrorist group.

HbAD1

how the Democrats set up the January 6 riot at the Capitol
this is why the left is now attacking Supreme Court justices
Addiction is not just a physical issue, it is also deeply spiritual
told to let all single males just walk in excpet for 6 countries
After saying the six-foot social distancing guideline during the COVID-19 pandemic “sort of just appeared,” Dr. Anthony Fauci on Monday testified that his statement had been “distorted” and that it “actually” came from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Accepting the unacceptable makes the unacceptable acceptable
combined traditional conservatives and populist conservatives win majority for first time

HbAD2

The state Supreme Court has agreed to hear one of two pending cases involving North Carolina bar owners challenging Gov. Roy Cooper's COVID-related shutdowns in 2020.
The Biden administration canceled over 350,000 asylum cases, allowing migrants to stay in the United States indefinitely in a move that experts called “mass amnesty.”
Former White House medical advisor Anthony Fauci changed his view of COVID vaccines from 2021 to 2024, clips show.
UK votes for parliament on July 4th, and EU voting for its parliament now
globalist PM Tusk coddles illegal aliens as soldier loses life defending border
inflated numbers do not tell the true story

HbAD3

 
Back to Top