Buttigieg Announces Closure Of Interstate System For 8-10 Days As Highways Undergo Racial Sensitivity Training | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     In a move sure to reduce road accidents among black and brown communities, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has announced the immediate closure of the Interstate System for 8-10 days so highways can undergo racial sensitivity training.

    "We've got a crisis here in America where highways, bridges, even parking lots are allowed to racistly hurt drivers of color," said Buttigieg during an interview with Al Sharpton, who is still alive, on MSNBC, which is still alive. "As a gay man, I feel it is my duty to get to the bottom of this issue: racist roads."

    Buttigieg explained that any highway refusing the training would be banned from use and possibly relegated to the asphalt mines.

    Training modules will include:

• Why Black Asphalt Perpetuates Negative Racial Stereotypes
• Bridges And Tribal Citizens: An Essay Seen Through Interpretive Dance
• The Empowering Power Of Blackness In Asphalt
• Why Minority Deaths Will Always Be Your Fault, And How To Prevent Them
• Fender Benders And Their Origins In A Secret Meeting Between Hitler And The KKK
• Choo-Choo Trains Are Not Racist And Are Fun

    At publishing time, Secretary Buttigieg had required all airplanes to declare a land use acknowledgment to indigenous airplane ancestors before being allowed to land.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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