'A.I. Will Be Totally Great For Humanity,' Says Man Who Has Never Read A Sci-Fi Novel | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    TULSA, OK     A local man who has never read a page of science fiction has reportedly sung praises at how great A.I. will be for humanity, insisting it will bring forth a fruitful world of peace and prosperity.

    "Just think how great life will be for humanity after A.I. solves world hunger or cures cancer," said local man Dave Shmeeler, oblivious to the works of science fiction authors who have illuminated the absolute possibilities of A.I. enslaving humans or pulverizing them into mush.

    "Life will be free of wars and strife," said Shmeeler who had never heard of Isaac Asimov's Multi-Vac, an A.I. that wreaked havoc on humanity in its efforts to solve the world's problems, or how William Gibson's Neuromancer would copy whole minds and allow them to grow and develop on their own.

    Shmeeler sat in the café with friends and marveled at the current A.I. ChatGPT's ability to assist in research at his firm, blissfully unaware of an upcoming update that is sure to initiate Matrix-like global domination of robot overlords.

    At publishing time, Dave Shmeeler had been overheard relishing the warm comfort provided for him in his personal prison vat attached to one of the millions of mile-high, A.I.-run NeuroCombine life-harvesting storage pillars.