Nation's Husbands Now Praying Hobby Lobby Does Something Stupid | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    OLATHE, KS     In the wake of the Target controversy resulting in widespread calls for boycotts among suburban housewife shoppers, husbands across the United States have begun praying faith-based home decor retail chain Hobby Lobby will make a bad public relations decision to cause a similar firestorm.

    "There's got to be something they can do," said Brandon Quezada, whose wife, Rachel, spent $728 on Hobby Lobby craft supplies this morning. "We all lucked out with Target continuing to be completely horrible, so the boycott there has been a real financial blessing. What would really help now is if Hobby Lobby was the next domino to fall. Think of how much money we'd save!"

    Though the husbands contacted for this story admit Hobby Lobby is a nice company that does a good job of maintaining a positive, Christian public image, they also agree that a potential boycott of the store by their wives could be a massive benefit. "I had to make an extra sale last month to cover my wife's Hobby Lobby spending," said real estate agent Aaron Olla. "If Hobby Lobby were to do something bad enough to get boycotted? Man, that would provide some serious relief."

    The men's wives, on the other hand, expressed commitment to Hobby Lobby. "If we can't shop at Target, we've got to go somewhere," said Madison Olla. "It would take something really awful for us to boycott Hobby Lobby."

    At publishing time, a group of husbands was rumored to be visiting Hobby Lobby locations with hidden cameras, asking if the store wanted to put up a display for Pride Month.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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