Mechanic Determines Car Repairs Will Cost Whatever Your Whole Paycheck Is This Month | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     Expert analysis indicates that the next time you bring your car to a mechanic the cost of repairs will perfectly match your paycheck for the month.

    "This is both convenient and suspicious," said family man Johnathon Broom who took his car in for a routine oil change. "I'm glad I have the funds to cover the new alternator, tires, and struts - but it kind of seems like Rusty's Car Farm knew exactly how much money I had in my bank account."

    "Weird."

    This analysis comes as the result of a month-long study among one thousand individuals with identical vehicles and repair needs.

    "It's a little strange since not every customer makes the same amount of money, yet the cost of repairs is always their exact monthly income," said car scientist Dr. Stephen Nickles. "We've passed our information along to the IRS to see what they make of it."

    Note: The IRS could not be reached for comment, but we are now being audited.

    "It's just a coincidence," laughed Rusty Sinclair of Rusty's Car Farm. "I don't hack into everyone's bank accounts to find out how much to charge them. You're just paranoid. And I suppose you believe companies routinely get caught in price-fixing schemes. Conspiracy theorist!"

    At publishing time, the cost of new brake pads for Elon Musk's car cost him forty-five billion dollars.