Top 8 VBS Themes This Year

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Beaufort County Schools are building a new school on the same ground where Eastern Elementary already exists, at a cost of $10,500,000.00 to Beaufort County's Taxpayers. Is this a wise expense of taxpayer dollars at this time?

21.74% Yes, Beaufort County has been awarded a 42 million dollars of grant money from the state of North Carolina (FREE MONEY) to construct school at 3.00 per squ. ft.

67.39% No, this is the wrong time, to build the wrong school, on the wrong placement - its lowest point - of Eastern Elementary's existing location, when community schools work best.

10.87% Why should I care about the public's education?

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Published: Sunday, July 16th, 2023 @ 6:32 am
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Summertime is just around the corner, which means one thing: churches across the country are soon to be overrun with thousands of feral children. What was once upon a time known for wholesome things like cookies & Kool-Aid, learning Bible stories, and making paper cutouts of the twelve disciples has now become a daunting week-long festival of free babysitting that is usually centered around a central theme.

    The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of top VBS themes coming this summer:

The Gospel of John Wick: It's a classic retelling of Jesus's time here on Earth, only with martial arts, guns, and a very high casualty rate. Sweet!
Super Mario Brothers (In Christ): Your kids will learn how God can give them more power than any mushroom, star, or flower!
Top God: Maverick: In this high-flying thrill ride, kids will learn about how God plays by His own rules.
Avatar: The Way of Living Water: Enter a whole new world in which kids learn to let Jesus live through them like a Na'vi avatar.
The Legend of Zelda: NO Tears in God's Kingdom: Forget Hyrule, your kids will be looking forward to living in Heaven.
Paul Washer Preaches for 7 Days: Your little sinner is guaranteed to feel convicted!
Jordan Peterson Presents VBS: This program will give your kids all the moral lessons of the Bible without any theology or salvation.
Children in the Hands of an Angry God: The most severe new theme, children will experience the wrath that is to come if they do not repent NOW.

That's quite a lineup! Be on the lookout this summer for these VBS programs at churches near you.

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