Trump's Lawyers Claim He Was Just Bored Of Reading The Back Of The Shampoo Bottle | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

Publisher's Note: This series of posts on this one issue - The Unprecedented FBI Raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago Estate - can all be found here on ENC NOW.

    U.S.     In response to the recent indictment by a federal grand jury for the mishandling of classified information, Donald Trump's attorneys have argued all 37 charges should be dropped because their client was simply bored of reading the back of the shampoo bottle whenever he had an extended toilet sit.

    "All Americans have a right to sensible reading material during any bowel evacuation," said attorney Todd Blanche. "Threatening someone with a life sentence for treason because of a little light reading while on the toilet is something I never thought I'd witness in this great country."

    "This is not my America," he added, a single tear sliding down his cheek.

    Thus far, challenges to Trump's indictment have been dismissed. A federal judge argued the former president could have read literally anything in the bathroom. "Why wasn't he reading Michael Crichton's Congo instead of old nuclear codes? This argument doesn't hold water."

    At publishing time, lawyers had found themselves in a difficult position once again after Trump announced an exciting new release of special edition classified document NFTs.

poll#157

Was it a judicious ploy for Joe Biden's FBI to execute the unprecedented raid of President Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate?

  Yes; the Cheneys despise this former Republican president, and for good reason ... so they say.

  No; never has a former president been treated with this level of vindictive abuse by those temporarily in power.

  Who cares? It's Trump.

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