7 Simple Ways To Get Away With A Massive Foreign Bribery Scheme | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    As we all know firsthand, maintaining an international bribery operation is hard work. Keeping the money flowing in without getting busted by the authorities can be tricky.

    Fortunately, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of helpful tips to get away with your foreign bribery scheme scott-free.

1. Use your kindergarten-level painting skills and sell art as a cover: Nobody will ever suspect anything.
2. Take an entire hard drive's worth of pictures of yourself committing disgusting acts: Might be embarrassing if someone finds it, but at least it distracts from the bribery.
3. Get one of your immediate family members elected to a powerful office: Like your father, for one completely random example.
4. If anyone accuses you of anything, just tell them you're a drug addict: They can't come after you if you're the real victim.
5. Always have a global pandemic, war, or tragedy on hand: Creating a diversion is the key to staying under the radar.
6. Have the capability to make any potential witnesses "disappear": Nobody can blow the whistle on you if they're... um, "disappeared."
7. Be a Democrat: Being a member of the right party means you'll never be held accountable.

    It's that easy. Follow those suggestions, and you'll never get caught - but rest easy, even if everyone finds out what you've been doing, you'll never face any consequences whatsoever! Have fun, kiddo!

poll#183

Considering that the 2024 Presidential Election has fully begun, and the Biden Administration has consequently fully weaponized the Biden DOJ /FBI to attack all political opponents under the penalty of felonious judgement for many of the same alleged crimes, or worse, committed by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden himself: Are you comfortable with this level of overt corruption within the Executive Branch?

  Yes; if Democratic Socialists are to complete the remaking of this "Democracy," the End will Always Justify the Means.

  No; in a Constitutional Republic, the Rule of Law is paramount, which means the law MUST be administered evenly

  Who cares; I am just so ambivalent to all this grown-up stuff.

317 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#145

After one full year of the Biden /Harris Administration: Does Joe Biden have the intellectual capacity, and, or the energy to lead the United States of America through the mess that he predominately created ... in just one year?

  Yes

  No

  Unsure

1,222 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?