In Climate Change Measure, White House Looks Into Blocking Sunlight Using Your Mom | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Following the news that President Joe Biden is in favor of developing methods to combat global warming by preventing the sun from shining on the earth, White House officials have announced one potential solution being discussed involves blocking out the sun by using your mom.

    "We have reason to believe your mom is so fat she can block out the sun," said history-making black gay White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "If these reports are in fact true, then your mom may be a great help to the American people and the global population as a whole."

    Experts believe that despite the gargantuan task of attempting to block out the sun's rays, your mom is large enough to accomplish the feat. "Our reports indicate your mom is so fat she's on both sides of your family tree," said Dr. Rick Deckard, an astrophysicist at NASA working on the project for the Biden administration. "And if it is correct that your mom is so fat that it would take Thanos two snaps to make her disappear, she may be the ideal candidate to help us with our mission."

    The plan was hailed by climate change activists as a step in the right direction. "We've got to save this planet one way or another," said Bob Falfa of global warming awareness group Destroy the Sun Now. "If your mom is so fat they found Biden's classified documents in the folds of her skin, we need her to use her size for the good of all mankind."

    At publishing time, government officials were attempting to get your mom on board by taking her out for dinner, where she gets the group discount even when she's eating by herself.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




Jack Ryan Stops Terrorist By Putting His Gun In Jell-O Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Dad Unsure Why He Should Take Family To Free Fireworks Extravaganza When He Can Do Five-Minute Show In Driveway For $800


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

tough-on-crime challenger wins in liberal Portland, Oregon
This decision will set in stone one of the, if not THE, most inefficient cross-town busing systems in the state
Slowly we are learning that the Covid Coverup is worse than the disease, except for the 20 million who died from it
DEI is poistonours program of racist and Marxist indoctrination
Rasmussen - 54% support deporting all illegal aliens, 41% support amnesty
President Joe Biden challenged former president Donald Trump to debates last week because Biden needs to swivel the political spotlight away from his record ahead of the election, according to Daily Wire editor emeritus Ben Shapiro.
free speech disappering in Europe; and in danger from Biden in US

HbAD1

The Islamic Republic of Iran’s president and foreign minister and other officials have been confirmed dead after a helicopter crash on Sunday while they were traveling in the eastern part of the country, according to Iranian state media.
releasing gasoline to try to lower pump price before election
Manhattan kangaroo court judge makes mockery of his office
most racially divisive speech ever given by a US presidente, and all for politics
For the second time in a week, President Joe Biden made a false claim about inflation — and he did not get away with it as journalists and political rivals called him out on it.
A majority of Americans are in favor of several different policies aimed at stopping illegal immigration, including building a wall on the southern border, deporting more illegal immigrants, and penalizing the businesses that hire them, a recent poll found.
lawsuit brought by Gun Owners of America (GOA) and state of Texas
as UK starts to acknowledge risks of their AstraZenica Covid mRNA vax

HbAD2

Withhold funds from states and tribes that legalize marijuana for recreational use
worse than stacked Presidential Debate Commission
CCP using the pro-Palestinian campus protests to discredit the U.S. government and amplify social divisions
President Joe Biden’s Small Business Administration (SBA) was subpoenaed by the House Committee on Small Business on Tuesday over alleged efforts to “register Democrat voters” in Michigan, a vital battleground state in the 2024 election.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top