Bible Scholars Believe That Jacob First Described Leah As ‘Mid’ | Eastern NC Now

Scholars at Dallas Theological Seminary say they now believe that Jacob's first assessment of Leah was to describe her as "mid".

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     Scholars at Dallas Theological Seminary say they now believe that Jacob's first assessment of Leah was to describe her as "mid".

    "That one word pretty well summed it up," said Old Testament professor Dr. Stanley Rudder. "Leah was no Margot Robbie, to say the least."

    While heated arguments have erupted over whether certain women are "mid", theologians say Leah's poor looks are not up for debate. "It's a Biblical truth," explained Dr. Rudder. "We believe the Bible to be the inerrant word of God, and sadly for Leah, her unattractive features are literally enshrined in Scripture. Leah being 'mid' was not simply Jacob's opinion -- it is a stone-cold fact, directly backed by the word of Almighty God."

    Jacob apparently first noticed Leah's eyes, which the Bible describes as "soft". "To be honest, the Bible translators apparently felt bad for Leah. The original Hebrew basically says her eyes were crossed," said Hebrew scholar Elias Peretz. "I mean, not like a little crossed. She was always keeping an eye on her nose. Plus, her name in Hebrew literally means 'fatigued'. How ugly does a baby have to be for you to name her 'Tired'?"

    The scholars say they also believe that Jacob described Leah's sister Rachel as "straight bussin".
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




'No One Needs An AR-15' Says Person Who's Obviously Never Seen The Cockroaches In Texas Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Holy Spirit Revival Coincides With Scheduled Revival Service


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

says foreign ties of Democrat Socialists of America need to be investigated
massive data collection by license plate readers on highways and streets threaten freedom

HbAD1

“I’m from America, 250 years ago we were way bigger than 6/1 dogs, and look at us thriving now.” Justin Gaethje pulls off an all time sports upset.
There are many people who overlook the brilliance of the US Constitution. They argue that it is outdated and unfit to adequately govern such a modern nation as ours in the 21st century.

HbAD2

"I plan to keep his counsel close until our paths cross again," JD Vance said on Thursday.
On Tuesday, Democratic Gov. Josh Stein signed an executive order creating the bipartisan Health Care Affordability Commission that he said will look at ways to make healthcare more affordable for North Carolinians.
"Margo’s Got Money Troubles" explores how financial desperation drives women to OnlyFans. That’s not empowering. It’s exploitative.

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top