Pretend Scientist Announces Belief In Pretend Genders | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK, NY     The pretend gender community is celebrating a huge step toward pushing their false ideology closer to the mainstream after pretend scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson posted a video professing his belief in their world of pretend genders.

    "The science is settled on the ever-fluid, ever-fluctuating state of gender," said the pseudoscientist in a video while speaking of the unscientific ideology sweeping through society. "And I'll eat my neck telescope thingy if anyone proves my science wrong. Which it is not."

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It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

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    The fake scientist then swung his stethoscope in his hand and stared into the screen condescendingly.

    The video affirming his belief in pretend unscientific things being not pretend or unscientific received praise from a cohort of other pretend scientists such as Bill Nye and Anthony Fauci.

    "You know Mr. deGrasse Tyson is exactly right about this gender craze being perfectly scientific," said Dr. Fauci to a mom blogger half-interested in what he had to say. "Also, will my interview be televised on, say, NBC or whatnot?"

    Bill Nye could not be reached for comment as he had tied himself into a pretzel trying to explain that there was no such thing as natural immunity to the COVID-19 virus.

    At publishing time a mob of trans activists had burned down Neil deGrasse Tyson's Manhattan home because his video had blatantly ignored the plight of demon-unicorn-treeselfs.