3 Dancers Sue Lizzo Alleging She Ate Them And Their Entire Families | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     A lawsuit brought by former members of Lizzo's backup dance team is alleging the corpulent singer terrorized them by eating them and their entire families.

    "I showed up to work late one day, and Lizzo unhinged her jaw and swallowed me whole like a boa constrictor," said one emotional woman in a statement. "Then she dipped all my friends and loved ones in chocolate and ate them all. It was horrible!"

    Plaintiffs in the case are also accusing Lizzo of creating a hostile work environment in which she fat-shamed them, sexually abused them, and sometimes played her flute. "No one should have to endure such torture in order to work for a massive, massive, massive star like this," said the lawyer representing dancers. "Most of all, no one should have to endure being consumed by Lizzo."

    Lizzo reacted to the lawsuit in a statement accusing her dancers of shaming her for abusing them. "Abuse-shaming is not ok," she said.

    At publishing time, the case was put on hold after Lizzo ate her entire legal team.