Too Far: Texas Dispatches Thwomps To Guard Border | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    EL PASO, TX     In a massive escalation, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has set up incredibly angry Thwomp Traps at the U.S.-Mexico border to deter illegal immigrants.

    Though illegal immigration is down a whopping 100%, critics argue the innovative border security simply goes too far. "Indiscriminate 'thwomping' of undocumented immigrants is a human rights violation!" Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said, weeping. "I can't even!"

    Gov. Abbott strongly defended his decision to deploy Thwomps (sentient living stones) to the border. "It's the most efficient way of protecting a castle or state," he said. "And it's humane! Nice, quick death. Oh, wait, I probably shouldn't say that. Don't print that."

    In a statement, President Joe Biden also expressed his concern that the U.S.-Mexico Border Thwomps had crossed a line. "Stones with faces, flattening people into pancakes? It's just not American," said Biden. "Governor Abbott, tear down these Thwomps!"

    At publishing time, drug cartels and human smugglers were consulting with an Italian plumber named Mario who claimed he knew how to get around the Border Thwomps.

poll#207

Should the Institutionalized Corruption of the Biden /Harris Administration, in this separate instance the Open Border Policy of our Sovereign Southern Border, be not only tolerated, but sanctioned by the raising of local spending by local politicians to pay for these now visible and known effects of rampant, and out-of-control Illegal Immigration?

  Yes, it is a kind thing to do, and a way that our county, our state can aid in this tremendous effort toward local federal foreign aid; and now, thankfully, in great abundance.

  No, our Constitutional Republic WILL NOT continue to exist, as our United States of America, if we do not control our sovereign borders, to protect our citizens, to keep them solvent and safe.

  I only consider what is topical and popular since my friends, too, only care to do the same.

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