7 Woke Products Coming Soon To Shelves Near You! | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Are you sick of your favorite products going WOKE? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because it's not over yet! Hundreds of brands continue to crank out woke products that are sure to ruin your life. Not good!

    The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of new woke products coming your way soon.

1. G.I. Joe - Diversity Training Edition: This G.I. Joe sits in a chair all day and consumes diversity training modules! A real American hero.
2. Honey Bunches of Crickets: Now you can have breakfast AND have a perfect ESG score.
3. State Farm Monkeypox Insurance: You can never be too safe.
4. Dylan Mulvaney American Girl Doll: Now your daughter can play with a doll version of the prettiest lady in the world!
5. Holy Bible - Inclusive ChatGPT Translation: Finally, a Bible that doesn't have all that offensive stuff about sin and God's wrath.
6. Victoria's Secret Menswear: Sure to contain secrets you never knew Victoria had.
7. Literally everything at your local grocery store: Who are we kidding? It's pretty much ALL woke at this point.

    These new products are only the tip of the iceberg. Get out to a store right away and find out what else you need to boycott!

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

848 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?