Prince Immediately Regrets Waking Rachel Zegler With A Kiss After She Starts Ranting About The Patriarchy | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    FAIRY FOREST     Prince Florian quickly regretted his decision to wake Rachel Zegler from her enchanted sleep as she immediately launched into a 3-hour-long tirade about the patriarchy.

    "Yeah, this was a mistake," said Prince Florian as Ms. Zegler continued her diatribe. "I'm starting to see where the Queen was coming from."

    According to local dwarves, the first thing Ms. Zegler did upon being saved from her catatonic state was to accuse the Prince of being a creepy stalker. "She let him have it," said Sleepy. "To be frank though, we dwarves are as mad at the Prince as she is. We've had peace and quiet ever since Ms. Zegler ate that poisoned apple - and now the Prince has gone and ruined it all. Ugh, I'm going back to bed."

    Sources within the royal family state that the Queen decided to put Ms. Zegler to sleep just so she would finally stop talking. "I tried to be patient, but I had just had it," said the Queen. "Sure, maybe poisoning her with an apple to put her in a coma may have been a slight overreaction. Still, you spend 24 hours listening to that girl blabber on about what a victim she is -- then come judge me."

    At publishing time, Prince Florian had stopped into the castle to ask the Queen if she by chance had any more of those poisoned apples.