Auto CEOs Struggling With Whether To Replace Striking Workers With Robots Or Mexicans | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    DETROIT, MI     With UAW workers officially on strike to demand a 4-day, 32-hour work week, leadership with the Big Three automakers are reportedly struggling with whether to replace the union workers with robots or Mexicans.

    "We really could go either way on this," said Ford CEO Jim Farley while lighting up a Cuban cigar with a stack of $100 dollar bills. "On one hand, robots work perfectly and tirelessly without complaining around the clock. On the other hand, President Biden is welcoming thousands and thousands of Mexicans across the border every day who will happily do these jobs for 32 cents per hour, 70 hours per week. What to do?"

    "This is a real conundrum."

    According to reports, there are currently 32,000 illegal migrants patiently waiting outside the picket line to take the place of the autoworkers while providing a superior work ethic for pennies on the dollar.

    "We are tired of greedy corporations taking advantage of the American worker," said UAW President Shawn Fain. "We demand infinity money for less work forever. And we want to work from home. We believe this is more than reasonable."

    At publishing time, automaker leadership elected to compromise and go with the robots but hire Mexicans to build them.