Ukraine Hires Dylan Mulvaney As New Spokesperson | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    KYIV     In a shocking move, Ukraine announced today that they have hired trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney as their official military spokesperson.

    Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky announced the decision at a press conference today, stating, "In these trying times, we need a professional like Dylan to come in and be the face of Ukraine. He's someone that people unanimously respect after seeing how he masterfully handled his role as a Bud Light brand ambassador. Speaking of which, Bud Light is now the official beer of the Ukrainian army."

    Mulvaney has committed to handling one of the most critical geopolitical crises of our time by making disturbing TikTok videos about how little girls love Abrams tanks. "On day 400 of being a girl, I discovered my love for F-16 fighter jets," said Mulvaney. "Yay for being a girl and yay for cluster munitions!"

    Zelensky said that he hopes that such a well-beloved and highly respected person like Mulvaney will help to unify the world behind Ukraine. "We recognize that the war has become polarizing and controversial," said Zelensky. "We believe a deranged trans influencer is the best person on the planet to update the world on what your billions of dollars are doing for Ukraine's military. Welcome aboard, Dylan!"

    In response to the buzz surrounding his appointment, Mulvaney has posted a video announcing that he's about to make Ukraine the "next Bud Light".
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