Ukraine Hires Dylan Mulvaney As New Spokesperson | Eastern North Carolina Now

In a shocking move, Ukraine announced today that they have hired trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney as their official military spokesperson.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    KYIV     In a shocking move, Ukraine announced today that they have hired trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney as their official military spokesperson.

    Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky announced the decision at a press conference today, stating, "In these trying times, we need a professional like Dylan to come in and be the face of Ukraine. He's someone that people unanimously respect after seeing how he masterfully handled his role as a Bud Light brand ambassador. Speaking of which, Bud Light is now the official beer of the Ukrainian army."

    Mulvaney has committed to handling one of the most critical geopolitical crises of our time by making disturbing TikTok videos about how little girls love Abrams tanks. "On day 400 of being a girl, I discovered my love for F-16 fighter jets," said Mulvaney. "Yay for being a girl and yay for cluster munitions!"

    Zelensky said that he hopes that such a well-beloved and highly respected person like Mulvaney will help to unify the world behind Ukraine. "We recognize that the war has become polarizing and controversial," said Zelensky. "We believe a deranged trans influencer is the best person on the planet to update the world on what your billions of dollars are doing for Ukraine's military. Welcome aboard, Dylan!"

    In response to the buzz surrounding his appointment, Mulvaney has posted a video announcing that he's about to make Ukraine the "next Bud Light".
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )




AG Garland's Impartiality Questioned Due To Conspicuous 'Kill Trump' Tattoo On Forehead Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics 9 Great Fashion Tips For Dads


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Rasmussen asked citizenship question in demographics for first time
On Friday, in a case that the United States government and his employer have denounced as a sham, a Russian court found Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich, the first U.S. journalist to face such a charge since Nicholas Daniloff in 1986, guilty of espionage
GovTrack ranked Kamala Harris the most liberal member of the US Senate
"The largest deportation effort in American history is going to have one hell of a co-pilot," one organization exclaimed.

HbAD1

"border czar" is supporter of wide open illegal immigration
There are alternatives. Our best and brightest should seek them out
It is time we elected new board members who will speak up for the people
Short of some unforeseen catastrophe Trump will win easily.

HbAD2

Former President Donald Trump once again addressed the proposed transition policies in the Heritage Foundation’s “Project 2025,” saying in a social media post on Wednesday night that Democrats are trying to deceptively “hook” him with those proposals.
Obama led defenstration of Biden succeeds; party bosses control nomination
wokeness including DEI an CRT are pervasive under Biden DOD
After yet another deadly attack perpetrated by a deranged leftist, this time coming an inch away from killing President Trump, the FBI was left briefly wondering if maybe they had been investigating the wrong people.
Biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy told The Daily Wire on Monday that he would “strongly consider” replacing J.D. Vance as U.S. senator from Ohio now that former President Donald Trump has picked Vance to be his running mate for the 2024 election.
For the second year in a row, Raleigh was ranked as the overall best place for veterans to live in the United States, according to a WalletHub report. Charlotte, Durham, Greensboro, and Winston-Salem came in 26th, 35th, 48th, and 51st overall, respectively.
DNC denied primary debates and rigged primaries for Biden
Less than 24 hours after a failed assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump — which left one bystander dead and three others, including Trump, injured — The Atlantic’s David Frum blamed the violence on the former president and his supporters.
The Biden campaign fired back at actor George Clooney on Wednesday after Clooney called for President Joe Biden to drop out of the presidential race, suggesting that the 81-year-old president has better stamina than Clooney.

HbAD3

 
Back to Top