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The ongoing effort to free the Israelites from bondage hit another snag today as Moses reportedly whipped out his trusty guitar and started jamming the tune "Pharaoh, Pharaoh" in the royal court. Sources say this has caused the Pharaoh's heart to become hardened even further.
Published: Tuesday, December 19th, 2023 @ 12:44 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After God miraculously supplied the Israelites with water, the Israelites asked if Moses could possibly strike another rock to make it pour forth Sunny D.
Published: Thursday, October 12th, 2023 @ 1:36 am
By: Babylon Bee
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SINAI — As they wandered the wilderness, the Israelites brought complaints to Moses about their lack of food, water, and the guy who kept saying, "At least we're getting our steps in!"
Published: Sunday, October 1st, 2023 @ 6:50 am
By: Babylon Bee
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A monumental archaeological expedition has uncovered the location of the Buc-ee's where the people of Israel stopped for refreshments while wandering in the desert after being freed from slavery in Egypt.
Published: Wednesday, September 20th, 2023 @ 11:28 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Daily Wire co-founder Ben Shapiro and Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explore the stubbornness of the Israelites and Moses’ frustration, how covenants work, and how easy it can be to stray from God in the newest episode of “Exodus,” streaming now on DailyWire+.
Published: Sunday, August 13th, 2023 @ 6:19 pm
By: Daily Wire
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Another set of stone tablets — purportedly bearing the commandments of God — was shattered to pieces after Moses walked in on an impromptu drag queen party being held by his people.
Published: Monday, April 10th, 2023 @ 8:19 am
By: Babylon Bee
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After being freed from slavery by the God of Abraham, witnessing 10 terrible plagues against Pharaoh, and walking across the Red Sea on dry ground to escape from Egypt's army, Kemuel son of Bahram, of the tribe of Benjamin, is demanding to be brought back to die in Egypt
Published: Saturday, March 11th, 2023 @ 5:08 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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A young sheep in Israel was left horrified today after it suddenly dawned on him that he was, in fact, a young male lamb without any spots or blemishes, giving him every indication that his life would end at a very early age.
Published: Sunday, February 12th, 2023 @ 1:31 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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ZORAH, ISRAEL — Following a string of record-breaking feats of strength, conditioning, and weight loss thanks to a full commitment to his keto lifestyle, Israelite strongman Samson found himself facing a whirlwind of temptation when his mistress Delilah took up baking sourdough loaves.
Published: Friday, December 9th, 2022 @ 10:54 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Rookie heavenly angel Raphael unleashed total panic after forgetting to shout "fear not" upon showing himself to a group of Israelites.
Published: Wednesday, December 7th, 2022 @ 12:03 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Scholars and archeologists have uncovered evidence in a dig outside the Temple Mount that indicates Israelite King Solomon spent up to 3 hours per day opening pickle jars for his 700 wives and 300 concubines.
Published: Monday, November 14th, 2022 @ 9:48 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Having finally begun his read-through-the-Bible-In-A-Year plan in August, local man Lance LeShaun finally arrived at the passage in which God commands the Israelites to avoid their wives for 7 days when they are on their menstrual cycles.
Published: Sunday, October 30th, 2022 @ 1:57 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Moses delivered the Lord's command to Israel that every family must gather a double portion of Chick-fil-A on Saturday, knowing that none may be gathered on the Sabbath.
Published: Thursday, October 20th, 2022 @ 5:52 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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According to a recently uncovered ancient diary, Biblical scholars now believe that we may now know the words Moses spoke after leading the Israelites out of Egypt and fleeing Ramses with his army.
Published: Saturday, July 2nd, 2022 @ 11:41 am
By: Babylon Bee
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Nautical archaeologists have at last discovered the exact location of where the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, having found a rock reading "Moses Wuz Here".
Published: Thursday, June 2nd, 2022 @ 11:02 pm
By: Babylon Bee
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Religious experts have begun voicing concerns that a local carpenter’s disinformation is spreading among Israelites most susceptible to unapproved ideas.
Published: Tuesday, May 10th, 2022 @ 10:41 am
By: Babylon Bee
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This post is the continuation of my previous Scripture references to God telling the Israelites, hundreds of years before his birth, that He would raise up a king and that king's name would be 'Cyrus'.
Published: Saturday, May 18th, 2019 @ 3:59 pm
By: Oddy Crist
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