Archaeologists Locate Buc-ee's Israelites Stopped At While Wandering Desert | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAUDI ARABIA     A monumental archaeological expedition has uncovered the location of the Buc-ee's where the people of Israel stopped for refreshments while wandering in the desert after being freed from slavery in Egypt.

    "This was a place where God mercifully answered the cries of the Israelites," said Dr. Rupert McGruber, the lead archaeologist working at the site. "As they made their journey through the vast wilderness, they were overcome with hunger and thirst. This is the Buc-ee's where they found relief."

    The group of researchers believes there is evidence to support their theory that, upon leaving Mt. Sinai, the Israelites began to grumble against Moses due to overwhelming hunger and the physically taxing nature of the journey. It is suggested by the scholars that, following God sending massive numbers of quail to satisfy the Hebrews' hunger, He told them to travel another day into the desert, where they miraculously found a Buc-ee's.

    "They gorged themselves on beef jerky and beaver nuggets to the point of inciting God's wrath against them," explained Dr. McGruber. "Moses had to stop eating his brisket sandwich to plead with the Lord to have mercy on the people of Israel. It's a sobering lesson from Scripture about gluttony and salvation."

    At publishing time, the team of revered biblical scholars was investigating newly-discovered evidence that, in addition to the Ten Commandments, a jar of mana, and Aaron's budded staff, the Ark of the Covenant also contained a bag of Buc-ee's Beaver Nuggets.