Pharaoh's Heart Hardened Even Further After Moses Busts Out Guitar And Sings, 'Pharaoh, Pharaoh, Woah Baby, Let My People Go' | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    EGYPT     The ongoing effort to free the Israelites from bondage hit another snag today as Moses reportedly whipped out his trusty guitar and started jamming the tune "Pharaoh, Pharaoh" in the royal court. Sources say this has caused the Pharaoh's heart to become hardened even further.

    "PHARAOH, PHARAOH, WWOOAAAHHH BABY, LET MY PEOPLE GO," sang Moses and Aaron to the tune of the classic song "Louie, Louie" by The Kingsmen. "HUH! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!"

    Eyewitnesses say the Pharaoh and all his counselors and magicians were curiously unmoved by Moses's rendition of the peppy Sunday school kids' song. "This is the worst thing I've ever heard," he said to one of his attendants. "I'm so annoyed that I've decided to never let the children of Israel go."

    The king then commanded the Israelites to produce bricks without straw and confiscated all the Hebrew guitars.

    "Welp, this backfired," said Moses. "I really thought I had a banger there. Guess we gotta go back to doing the plagues again. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yeah! WELL, I TALKED TO A BURNING BUSH THE OTHER DAY, YEAH BABY! Everybody sing along now!"

    At publishing time, Pharaoh grew so tired of the singing that he begged the Israelites to "just please go."