A Family Feud | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Do you remember the TV game show Family Feud? It was good fun as one family competes with another for cash prizes, but we all know that real life family feuds can be bitter, divisive and cause great damage.

    For many years the United Methodist Church, along with many other denominations has been having differences over human sexuality, specifically about whether to ordain homosexual pastors, as well as whether or not to marry gay couples. Those discussions have become heated and emotionally charged, pitting families and congregations with different beliefs against each other. It has reached a point where the issue now threatens the unity in the United Methodist Church. Methodists comprise the third largest faith organization in our nation.

    Next week, in St. Louis, Methodist delegates from four continents gather to attempt to resolve those differences. Among the thousands of delegates attending this special session of the General Conference will be traditionalists, contextualists and progressives. Traditionalists believe in marriage between one man and one woman. They want greater accountability and fidelity within that union and disallow the ordination of and marriage of homosexuals. Contextualists acknowledge there are differences within various settings and are willing to allow those disparate beliefs and practices. Progressives want full inclusion of all persons in the life of the denomination and believe the church can celebrate same-sex marriages.

    For almost two years 32 people representing 9 countries have been praying about, meeting and discussing this issue. They represent a cross section of the Methodist faith and have been tasked with finding "a way forward," a solution that will cause the least damage to the denomination, result in the fewest loss of members or financial support, and have the least impact on the overall mission of making disciples for Jesus. It should come as no surprise that after two years this group has been unable to find a solution that can be universally embraced. Now they are taking it to the church as a whole for a solution.

    Already this issue has torn asunder the Episcopal and Presbyterian denominations. In both instances the resulting survivors are smaller in numbers, less influential and significantly weaker financially. Next week's St. Louis conference threatens that same outcome for Methodists.

    This gathering is symptomatic of society today. Nobody admits to wanting to widen divisions among races, sexes, religious faiths or political parties, yet few are willing to compromise or yield their positions significantly enough to prevent the resultant damage. The feuds rage on.

    We continue to fight these cultural, philosophical and religious battles, an acknowledgement that we never really learned from feuds from the past.

    Nobody knows for a certainty what will happen at the Methodist summit. You don't have to be a Methodist to be in prayer that people of faith and good will can summon the grace, compassion, understanding and wisdom to find a solution that will continue them united. And, if they are able to do so, that they will come home and demonstrate to us how to reconcile differences and heal wounds.

    The family feud might make a good game show, but in real life there are losses on all sides and the experience can wreak damage for years to come. Hopefully all will agree that at this moment we need some reconciliation and peace.

    Publisher's note: Tom Campbell is former assistant North Carolina State Treasurer and is creator/host of NC SPIN, a weekly statewide television discussion of NC issues airing Sundays at 11:00 am on WITN-TV. Contact Tom at NC Spin.