Wife Assigns Husband 4 Podcast Episodes' Worth Of Chores | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    CHEYENNE, WY     Local man Mike Campbell received his honey-do list over breakfast, and within moments calculated that his wife had doled out four podcasts' worth of chores.

    "Ok, trim the hedges-that's one Ben Shapiro," said Mike, setting his downloads. "Clean the fridge, should equal 'Bible In A Year'. Vacuum the bedrooms will be a solid 'Unashamed', and then replace the kitchen faucet - hoo boy, could be a Rogan!"

    Mr. Campbell's wife Ashley reports she has tried to adjust to her husband's penchant for telling time in podcasts. "It took a bit of getting used to, but we're making progress," said Mrs. Campbell. "If I'm meeting a friend for dinner, I just tell him I'll be gone for two Bill Simmons. Or if he asks how far it is to the dry cleaner's, a round trip is one Dave Ramsey. I'm getting the hang of it!"

    Mr. Campbell attempted to get his wife to listen to podcasts, but quickly became dissuaded by her affinity for true crime. "I canceled my life insurance after the hundredth murder episode," said Mike. "Thankfully she's gone back to just blaring David Crowder music like the old days. I was starting to sleep with one eye open."

    At publishing time, Mr. Campbell discovered his AirPods had gone missing and his third child made the oddest sounds when he tried to play music through them.