Daredevil Thanks God He’s Blind After Learning She-Hulk Twerked With Megan Thee Stallion | Eastern NC Now

According to sources, Hell's Kitchen superhero Daredevil was overheard thanking God for making him go blind and saving him the horror of watching She-Hulk twerk with rap artist Megan Thee Stallion.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    NEW YORK, NY     According to sources, Hell's Kitchen superhero Daredevil was overheard thanking God for making him go blind and saving him the horror of watching She-Hulk twerk with rap artist Megan Thee Stallion.

    "I have no problem facing a dozen ninjas from The Hand on my own or even battling the diabolical schemes of the Kingpin, but when I heard about She-Hulk twerking with Megan Thee Stallion, I threw up in my mouth a little bit," Daredevil said in a gruff whisper while perched on a rooftop gargoyle. "It was the first time I've ever been thankful to be blind."

    People who did see the twerking fiasco were appalled at the sight and began crying out for earth's mightiest heroes to save them from the torture. Others begged for Thanos to return and end things once and for all.

    Josiah Smith, an eyewitness to the twerking, recounted the harrowing experience. "It was the most wretched thing I've ever seen, and I've watched Rings of Power," Smith said, visibly shaken by the ordeal. "No one can twerk with Megan Thee Stallion and call themselves a hero."

    At publishing time, Daredevil was believed to be rethinking his entire purpose in life. "If that's what is required to be a superhero these days, I don't know if I have it in me. I'm supposed to be saving Hell's Kitchen from falling into a cesspool of crime and corruption. I'm not even sure it's worth saving anymore."

    At publishing time, Disney+ confirmed the next season of Daredevil will feature a dance number featuring Daredevil and Harry Styles in a dress.
Go Back


Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published )
Enter Your Comment ( text only please )




Meghan Markle Concerned Queen’s Death May Yank Her From Spotlight For A Few Days Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Tucker Carlson obtains copy of DOJ subpoena


HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

If you are covering Roy Cooper in Greensboro today, please consider the following statement from the Republican National Committee:
Obama and Biden judges abuse power for political reasons to try to stop Haitian deportations
teachers union rally held on major socialist / communist May Day holiday
Democrats foment climate of violence against Trump and GOP

HbAD1

Cheryl Hines. Dennis Quaid. Nicki Minaj. All became associated with the Trump administration. What happened next?
A federal grand jury in North Carolina has indicted former FBI Director James Comey on two charges related to making threats against President Donald Trump.
Their goal was simple: to put a Planned Parenthood in every mailbox in America.
Treasury officials allege these groups pose as humanitarian entities while covertly siphoning donations to Hamas.
President Donald Trump has publicly floated regime change and other aggressive actions toward Cuba.
With a new roadside plaque unveiled in Ellerbe on April 23, legendary wrestler and local resident André René Roussimoff is finally getting the formal recognition fans believe he deserves.

HbAD2

Following a string of attacks, critics are calling for denaturalizations. It's not that simple.
Understanding how parties work is important for making informed decisions regarding elected officials.
The solution is not to legalize the problem; it is to enforce the law consistently and deter future illegal immigration.
The teachers union is pushing to cancel school on May 1 as Chicago public schools continue to report dismal student proficiency rates.
Mission accomplished on sending inspiration from the dark side of the moon.

HbAD3

 
 
Back to Top