Keeping His Promise To Rid Country Of Cancer, Biden Steps Down | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    BOSTON, MA     In a speech today, President Biden vowed to rid America of cancer. Then, at the close of his speech, he immediately kept his promise and tendered his resignation.

    "Hey folks, no joke, we're curing cancer!" said the President who recorded the highest COVID cases and brought back monkeypox. "We're gonna lick this thing just like we beat poverty, drugs, and the Taliban! You'll see! Come on! We can cure at least a million, er a million billion cancers! All the cancers! For real! And with that, I officially resign as President of the United States."

    Biden then shuffled off stage and dove headfirst into a camera crew he mistook for a young child's hair.

    Biden's speech is being praised as "momentous" and "bold" by the press. The resignation was also praised by Americans as a fitting end to the malignant growth that had spread its way through the government. "Wow, I truly appreciate the President keeping his promise," said one American.

    At publishing time, the White House Press secretary issued a statement that the President just misspoke, and he's not resigning.

poll#132

Considering that Joe Biden is considered by so many to be the Imposter President: Is he actually knowledgeable enough, wise enough, patriotic enough to be this Constitutional Republic's president at this difficult point in these tumultuous times?

  Yes, Mr. Biden is thoughtful and kind, and just so different from the "Orange Man".

  No, this representation of "president" is either too corrupt, too stupid, or both to be a real president.

  I just want the fun guy, who knew how to make stuff work back.

670 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?

poll#154

Inarguably, the policies of the Democrats in congress and Joe Biden as the Executive is plunging the United States into a recession, if we are not already there; a recession that was completely avoidable. Will abrupt changes in policies occur in time?

  Yes, the Democrats have a bold plan, yet to be revealed, to save us.

  No, there will have to be a complete undoing of the damage done by these Democrats.

  I can't do simple math, so how am I to understand the concept of basic economics.

1,218 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?