9 Tips For Improving Gun Control | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    If there's anything we need more of this country, it's more gun control! Be a part of the solution by following our 9 essential tips.

  1. Get ripped so you can hold your gun more firmly: And you'll look so much cooler too.
  2. Duct tape your Desert Eagle to your hands: Duct tape will control anything!
  3. Crouch so your aiming reticle gets smaller: A proven tactic. Turn on auto-aim for even better results.
  4. Get a big strong close buddy to come up behind you and firmly grab your arms to guide them before taking the shot while whispering affirmative sayings in your ear: It's not gay.
  5. Use homing bullets or the Needler: And make sure to dual-wield for balance and additional firepower.
  6. Hold your handgun sideways: Few know this ancient secret.
  7. Practice on Womp Rats: You never know when you might use your skills to destroy a space station and save the galaxy!
  8. Buy one of those shoulder things that go up: Not available in California.
  9. Buy as many guns and ammo as you possibly can: More guns, more control!

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