Elon To Replace 3,200 Twitter Employees With One Hardworking Immigrant Named Amar | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN FRANCISCO, CA     Only hours after officially taking over Twitter, Elon Musk has taken action on firing underperforming employees. After reviewing the metrics on individual employee productivity, Musk abruptly fired 3,200 Twitter team members and replaced them with Amar.

    "Amar is a hardworking immigrant from India who can easily do the work of 3,200 Silicon Valley millennials," said Musk. "Once we filtered out all the breaks for meditation, wine-on-tap, matcha sipping, shuffleboard, and corn-hole, we discovered that these employees could all be replaced with Amar, who will outperform all 3,200 of these employees by at least 9%."

    Amar's resume includes a steady stream of success at several call centers in Mumbai, and since his start date on Monday, he has already outworked 2,973 of the employees in weekly productivity. Sources say he works 18 hours per day, sleeps at the office, and takes baths in the bathroom sink, all of which he says are much better working conditions than where he came from.

    At publishing time, Twitter employees had announced they all found jobs working for the DNC in Washington, D.C.

poll#128

Where do you stand on the wanton censorship by Big Tech Platforms, while retaining their Section 230 carveout indemnifying them for Slander /Defamation lawsuits and Copyright infringements?

  Big Tech Platforms have the right to Censor all speech providing they voluntarily relinquish their Section 230 Carveout.

  Big Tech Platforms DO NOT have the right to Censor any speech, while retaining multiple indemnifications by virtue of the Section 230 Carveout.

  I know nothing of this 230 talk, but "I do love me some social media".

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