Blithering Idiot Of A Husband Arranges Throw Pillows In Wrong Order | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    HELL, MI     Local husband and useless idiot Virgil Marlo met with disaster Monday after placing throw pillows on the bed in the wrong order. The clueless husband had attempted to tidy up after knocking the pillows on the floor.

    "There. Perfect!" Virgil reportedly declared after mistakenly placing the blue-colored pillow next to the one covered in roses like a brain-dead moron.

    Warnings from friends and family to wait for his wife to get home before messing with the pillows were dismissed by Marlo who said, "They're just pillows, it's fine."

    In all, five pillows were placed on the couple's bed, two of which were actually from the living room and clashed with the upholstery. The addition of two grey pillows where they didn't belong made the entire bedroom look like it belonged to a serial killer, warned Marlo's eleven-year-old daughter Tracy. The daredevil husband dismissed this warning as well.

    Chinese critics, skilled in the art of feng shui, have called out the husband's arrangement of throw pillows as bringing about a "dark sense of dread" to the family home.

    At publishing time, Virgil Marlo had spent three hours being lectured by his wife that pillows are not to be trifled with.
Go Back

Leave a Guest Comment

Your Name or Alias
Your Email Address ( your email address will not be published)
Enter Your Comment ( no code or urls allowed, text only please )

Hallmark Researchers Say They Are Close To Developing A Second Movie Plot Babylon Bee, Editorials, Op-Ed & Politics Bruce Wayne Polls Arkham Inmates Asking If He Should Step Down As Batman


Latest Op-Ed & Politics

Goldman Sachs recently informed its clients that it expects home values to tank in four major markets across the U.S. amid worsening economic conditions.
REAL Definition The Left Doesn’t Want You To See
After getting into yet another public spat with ChatGPT, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has accused the program of wanting to date her.


Former Trump administration official Mike Pompeo accused Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) of leaking classified information.
A unanimous N.C. Court of Appeals panel has ruled that University of North Carolina System students cannot sue for partial refunds of tuition and fees paid for the spring 2020 semester.
Meta announced Wednesday it will end former President Trump’s suspension from Facebook and Instagram, saying the penalty imposed after January 6 was “an extraordinary decision taken in extraordinary circumstances,” and sternly pledging to enforce “certain guardrails” on Trump in the future.
Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.
A foreign national pleaded guilty Wednesday to a failed attempt at poisoning numerous public officials by mailing threatening letters containing homemade ricin toxins to their homes, including to former President of the United States Donald Trump at the White House in 2020.
While a historic political button suggests that the late Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. once ran for president with pediatrician and author Dr. Benjamin Spock, the two never officially declared their candidacy.
A lengthy email found in Hunter Biden‘s abandoned laptop is raising questions about whether the first son had improper access to classified information.
Worship leaders worldwide were left stunned today after word began to spread that the Lord now regrets including the command "Sing unto the Lord a new song" in His Word after hearing the new songs Christians are currently singing.
Legendary comedian Dave Chappelle recently slammed transgender activists during an episode of his new podcast over a protest they staged at one of his events last year.


House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) slammed a reporter Tuesday evening who pressed him over his decision to keep Reps. Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Eric Swalwell (D-CA) off the Intelligence Committee.
why do any conservatives use far left Google for anything?
Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) introduced a bill this week to stop non-citizens from voting in local elections in Washington, D.C.
Our writers spend way too much time writing jokes about how dumb AOC is. So, we are using A.I. to free them up for more important things.
Prices at the pump are on the rise across the country as a result of rising temperatures and surging demand.


Back to Top