Man Everyone Mocked For Raising Chickens Gets Last Laugh | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    ST. PAUL, MN     Sources are reporting that local man Verp Winston, who was mocked by friends for raising chickens in his backyard, is having the last laugh as egg prices have skyrocketed across the country.

    "You all thought I was such a dork for spending all my savings on a chicken coop and buying all these birds and giving them all names like Rita, Barbie, and Mr. Cluckington," said Winston as he counted his eggs for the day while wearing his giant straw hat and rubber boots he purchased for chicken farming. "Who's laughing now, chumps? BAHAHAHAHA!"

    Sources say friends and neighbors have come from miles around for the chance at acquiring just one precious egg, or at least catching a glimpse of Winston's chickens so they can look on with longing and jealously. "Eggs are scarce in this land," said local woman Fran Crugg, who lives down the street. "Winston is now the most eligible bachelor for miles. All the women want him."

    At publishing time, Winston reported his chickens had yielded over $35,000 worth of eggs last month, which roughly translates to about 14 eggs. The IRS later reported he now owes $123,700 in taxes from unclaimed egg revenue.

poll#162

In what may be the most divisive period in modern American History, even more divisive than the turbulent sixties due to today's lack of patriotism, consider what are the major catalysts causing so much of this calamity of conflict, and vote: What most instigates the division of America, on this day September 20, 2022?

  Racism within our society

  Sex realignment to the detriment of our society.

  Biden /Harris Wide Open Southern Border Policy for the Demographic Upheaval of OUR Constitutional Republic

  Rampant Crime in Democratic controlled cities, and the possible contagion elsewhere

  Covid Pandemic, and its mishandling at the political, and bureaucratic levels.

  The unresolved questions /allegation regarding the flawed 2020 General Election

  January 6th Riot or "Armed Insurrection", depending upon patriotic perspective

  Joe Biden as Divisive Leader; Ineffective and Corrupt Executive

  Failed Education Industry, from an overall perspective, regarding all levels of education.

  Propagandistic Media in complete conflict with the First Amendment's guarantee of Freedom of Speech, and the awesome responsibility of a Free Press..

  "Orangeman Bad!"

  Bureaucracy rushing to a behemoth size, its unjustified expense, and far too often overreach.

  The Weaponized Deep State for political purposes

  A secular ambivalence to all that is real.

  Record number of overdose deaths from opioids and now Fentanyl

  Biden Administration's disastrous Foreign Policy

  Bidenflation /supply chain failure inevitably evolving into stagflation and recession.

  "Ultra MAGA Extremists" freely speaking louder AND LOUDER!

928 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?