9 Surprising Benefits Of The Vaccine | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    People sure have been making a big deal about vaccine efficacy and myocarditis for some reason. Weird! Don't be afraid of taking the vaccine. It may not cure COVID-19, but what it does do is far more valuable.

    Check out these surprising benefits of the COVID vaccine:

1. You are now better than everyone else: This must be how Ryan Reynolds feels.
2. Wearing a mask is even more fun when vaccinated: You don't just look like a superhero, you are one.
3. You now have a good excuse not to exercise because your heart might explode: More time for Netflix!
4. Even if no one asks to see your vax card, you know it's there in your wallet and that is a really special feeling: Priceless.
5. Your year-round routine of staying locked in your home gets spiced up twice a year with booster trips: Nice!
6. You'll be thanked by name during Pfizer's quarterly earnings report: We all need to do our part to keep big pharma in business.
7. Your mRNA has been turned into LGBTQNA: Intersectionality!
8. The third arm will help you in charades: And with climbing rocks.
9. Your death can be sudden instead of long and drawn out: Whew! What a relief.