12 Rich People Tell Us Their #1 Investment | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    Investing your money is tough when your savings account can't even keep up with inflation. How are we supposed to avoid abject poverty? Fear no more lower-to-middle-class folks! Drawing on the wisdom of 12 wealthy investors, we uncovered strategies to help everyday people protect their wealth in times of uncertainty and inflation.

    Try out these solid inflation-proof investments recommended by the one percent:

1. Nancy Pelosi: Insider trading in Congress.
2. Bill Gates: All the farmland. He owns it all now. It's probably nothing to worry about.
3. Volodymyr Zelenksyy: World War III.
4. Mark Zuckerberg: The hope that everyone on earth wants to strap a VR headset on their faces all day.
5. Elon Musk: Babies. Children are our future!
6. Madonna: Babies. Their stem cells keep her looking young and attractive.
7. Joe Biden: World's largest collection of original art by Hunter Biden.
8. Jeff Bezos: An underground volcano lair.
9. Smaug: I AM FIRE! I AM DEATH!
10. Tom Cruise: Aircraft carrier full of fighter jets.
11. Richard Branson: More failed business ventures.
12. Donald Trump: Donations to his reelection campaign. It'll be the greatest comeback in human history!