Pete Buttigieg Celebrates 24 Hours Without A Train Derailment

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Pete Buttigieg Celebrates 24 Hours Without A Train Derailment

Published: Saturday, February 18th, 2023 @ 3:55 pm
By: Babylon Bee ( More Entries )

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg has proudly announced that the U.S. has managed to go a whole 24 hours without any trains flying off the tracks and exploding into balls of fire while spewing deadly chemicals into the air.

    "This is a momentous achievement for our country," said Buttigieg to a cheering crowd. "All the choo-choo-trains are still on the tracks! And it's been a whole day! So many people worked hard to accomplish this goal and we were successful. This is definitely because I'm gay."

    The Transportation Secretary was clear, however, that his work is still not done. "We still have a long way to go," he continued. "Clearly, some trains are racist, and we must stop them. Some train tracks are still racist, and we must dismantle them and then rebuild them using construction workers of color. I am gay."

    The Department of Transportation confirmed it will spare no resources to make sure America can go another 24 hours without a historic transportation disaster, or maybe at least 12 hours or an hour or two.

    At publishing time, Buttigieg had decided to delay his presidential campaign announcement until everyone forgets about this whole thing.

    UPDATE: Another train carrying deadly chemicals has derailed.

poll#175

Understanding that this fragile Republic of the self-governed is in a precarious space in our nation's vast history: What is your honor bound patriotic duty in helping to sustain the continuance of these United States of America?

I will depend on my Democratic Socialist politicians to continue to march hard toward the Left to provide Diversity, Equity and Inclusion for all who think and do as they are told.

I will defend the Constitution of the United States of America, and support all elected leaders who pledge to protect and insure the continued sovereignty of this Representative Republic.

I am very concerned about maintaining my current life style without working. I was told that as long as I vote Democrat, I had nothing to worry about ... but now I worry.

296 total vote(s) What's your Opinion?

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