Is It Valentine’s Day? Know The Signs | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    You have this gnawing feeling you forgot something. Your wife seems mad at you. Oh no! Is it Valentine's Day?

    Don't forget this time. Keep an eye out for these telltale signs that the big day has arrived.

1. The calendar says February 14: Suspicious, especially if yesterday was also February 13.
2. Your phone alerts you and says "Today is Valentine's Day": Another tantalizing clue.
3. Your wife keeps asking what you have planned tonight for some reason: Do not say "I was hoping to hone my swing at the driving range after work...why?"
4. You're sitting in front of a plate of heart-shaped pancakes and your wife is on the other side of the table quietly crying: Act fast - tell her she won't believe the HUGE surprise you definitely have planned for tonight.
5. You spent hours last night helping the kids prepare Valentine's Day cards and treats for their classmates: Why am I wading through glitter this morning? Oh no!
6. You just received a valentine: This has to mean something.
7. The snooty French Maître D' scoffs audibly when you request a reservation for tonight: "Monsieur, today has been booked since November, héhéhé - sacré bleu!"
8. All the men in your office said they have to leave at 4:45 PM to "pick up something on the way home": Prepare to join swarms of desperate-looking men in the picked-over greeting card aisle.
9. You're already a month behind in your "Read The Bible In A Year" plan: Add a note to Genesis 37 so you're reminded next year.
10. You've reached the tenth item on this list and suddenly have a sinking feeling in your gut: If this is you, stop reading this list and sprint to the gas station for a dozen roses RIGHT NOW!

    If you're reading this list, it's probably too late for you. It's ok, there's always next year!