Spooked By Jan 6 Footage, McConnell Withdraws Head Into Shell | Eastern NC Now

Poor lil' guy! According to sources, Senator Mitch McConnell became so spooked today by the release of unedited Jan 6 footage that he withdrew his head into his shell and is refusing to come out.

ENCNow
    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     Poor lil' guy! According to sources, Senator Mitch McConnell became so spooked today by the release of unedited Jan 6 footage that he withdrew his head into his shell and is refusing to come out.

    "Oh no! He's scared! It's ok buddy! You can come out now!" said one of his aides, attempting to coax him out with a handful of seaweed pellets. "Shhh--no one's gonna hurt you! The buffalo man is gone! Come on, it's ok!"

    Eyewitnesses say the elderly Senator slowly emerged, his big eyes darting to and fro, scanning for danger. Aides were frustrated, however, when McConnell's eyes caught a glimpse of a red baseball cap out of the corner of his eye, which caused him to panic and flip over on his back and kick his legs helplessly in the air.

    At publishing time, sources had confirmed Nancy Pelosi was so unsettled by the footage that she shed her skin twice.
Go Back

HbAD0

Latest Op-Ed & Politics

government's offer is rejected, the battle continues, no confidence vote in parliament

HbAD1

Understanding how parties work is important for making informed decisions regarding elected officials.
Tax Day is a week away, and the reports are in: North Carolinians are winning big with record-setting tax returns thanks to President Trump and Republicans' Working Families Tax Cuts.
“It is a trust fund, a piece of the American economy for every child that they will be able to take out when they are 18.”

HbAD2

farmers, truckers and supporters block roads, fuel deports, and ports to protest climate taxes on fuel
Sunrise Movement which focuses on climate alarmist is now engaged with illegal immigration
a typical lying Democrat, she told voters she was a moderate, and then went hard left
Change in schedule for executive committee meeting. Meeting Thursday April 9 is cancelled.
illegal alien "asylum seeker" migrants are a crime wave on both sides of the Atlantic

HbAD3

"We could very well end up having a friendly takeover of Cuba."
You can't make this up. If you turned this script into Hollywood, they'd say it's too on the nose.
"Alaska native" firms, most often in Virginia, were paid $45 billion in Pentagon contracts thanks to DEI law.
"Go that way and get down ... there has been a shooting ... there are people dead over here."
Former provost Chris Clemens has dropped his open meetings and public records lawsuit against the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
How the Minnesota Senate race became a purity test for the far Left

HbAD4

 
 
Back to Top