Noah Starting To Think The Woodpeckers Were A Bad Idea | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    THE ARK     After two weeks sailing upon the flood waters in the ark, Noah began to think that bringing the woodpeckers along may have been a bad idea.

    "Another hole?? Dang woodpeckers," growled Noah, patching a puncture in the ark's hull. "I'll feed you to the owls, you hear me?? Don't think I won't do it!"

    The woodpecker issue reportedly began to rear its ugly head shortly after the ark rose upon the waters. "Where do these holes in the ship keep coming from - and what the heck is that hammering sound??" asked Noah. "Oh man - I forgot about the woodpeckers! A wooden ship with woodpeckers, Lord? Ughhh...this is going to get annoying."

    In addition to the woodpecker trouble, Noah quickly discovered the ark also had a severe beaver problem. "THAT'S THE BOTTOM DECK, YOU MORONS!" screamed Noah as he chased the beavers away. "Where's a wolf when you need one? I just don't get how - HEY! WHO BUILT A DAM OUT OF MY KITCHEN TABLE?"

    Noah then once again inquired of the Lord if he was only supposed to bring animals onto the ark, or if he had to keep them alive.