Border Patrol Not Too Sure About This 'Mohammed Sanchez' Guy | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    SAN DIEGO, CA     Authorities say they aren't quite sure what to make of the "totally Mexican man" they picked up over the weekend who identifies himself as Mohammed Sanchez. According to sources, he crossed the U.S.-Mexico border with a caravan of undocumented immigrants but drew a lot of attention to himself because of his thick beard, turban, and what he claimed was a "purely decorative" AK-47.

    "Yeah, this guy - I dunno, something's off about him," admitted Border Patrol Agent George Dalton. "I mean he looks Mexican - sorry, I mean Latinx - but he doesn't speak a lick of Spanish. Also, he was carrying a Koran, which I guess is a Muslim choose your own adventure book or something. Pretty sure Latinx people don't read those weird squiggly words."

    "On the other hand, his last name is Sanchez and he says he's 'super Mexican.' I'm not sure where to go on this one."

    Also concerning was the manifesto found on Sanchez's person which describes a passion for killing infidels and calls for "the great Satan to be wiped off the face of the earth." However, Sanchez maintains the manifesto is merely fan fiction for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

    Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas says that Biden has been briefed on the matter but would like to avoid making any decisions before the election.

    At publishing time, Mohammed Sanchez had been released from custody and asked to please come back for a hearing in three months.

    "I think that if he doesn't return, that will be a clear sign that he was an international terrorist," said a spokesperson for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. "It may be the only way to find out for sure."

poll#163

The previous poll on Eastern NC NOW showcased what are many of OUR Constitutional Republic's certain obstacles to remain viable, where the top encumbrance to that continuance as a functioning Republic was the Biden /Harris Wide Open Southern Border. Understanding this overwhelming concern to real America citizens: Do you believe it important to challenge the veracity of those legislated concerns of Democratic Socialists by transporting Illegal Migrants to their Sanctuary cities, counties and states for their direct care?

  Yes; test the depth of their "compassion" by giving Democratic Socialists an opportunity to enact all Sanctuary provisions in their communities to test how much they truly do care.

  No; the Biden /Harris Wide Open Southern Border Project is designed to only inundate "Red States" to begin their Demographic Upheaval for the benefit of we Democratic Socialists, our politics.

  I generally do NOT care about politics, but it is fun watching abject hypocrites squirm; maybe I will start getting more involved.

453 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?