Kid Playing Battleship Discovers Unstoppable Strategy Of Not Putting Ships On The Board | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    COLORADO CITY, CO     Hasbro's classic naval combat game Battleship has found a new champion in 7-year-old Billy Berkin who has reportedly developed an unstoppable strategy of not putting any ships on the board.

    "The only winning move is not to play," the Battleship savant explained as he illustrated his technique for his friends.

    "I call it the Berkin maneuver."

    Little Billy is reportedly undefeated against his brother Andrew, who sources say is convinced his brother must be cheating.

    "I don't get it!" 6-year-old Andrew cried as Billy congratulated himself on another successful offensive.

    Andrew pleaded to his father, "Where are his boats, Daddy? WHERE ARE THEY?"

    According to sources, the boys' father refused to weigh in on whether or not Billy's strategy constituted cheating. "Ships," he said instead. "They're called ships, Andy."

    At publishing time, the Pentagon has reached out to Billy Berkin for help planning an offensive in the Baltic Sea.