Zelensky Announces Run For Second Term Of U.S. Presidency | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    KYIV     Following a successful first term as Chief Executive of the United States of America, Volodymyr Zelensky has officially announced plans to run for a second term as U.S. President.

    His toughest rival is predicted to be Vladimir Putin, who served as U.S. President from 2016-2020.

    "Today I am formally announcing plans to 'finish the job' as leader of the United States," said President Zelensky from the balcony of his $130 million Ukrainian mansion. "Only in America can a poor immigrant comedian achieve his lifelong dream of asking for like three thousand missiles and getting them in a week. I love America!"

    Zelensky then listed the top agenda items he would implement during his second term as President:

• Add more blue and yellow to the American Flag.
• Declare all Russians poopy heads
• Also, nuke Russia
• Edit the Pledge of Allegiance to contain more off-color jokes
• Pocket another $300 million

    At publishing time, Volodymyr Zelensky had announced the first female Asian-American Vice Presidential running mate, Xi Jinping in a blonde wig.