Pentagon Says Military Needs Abortion To Help Them Become Proficient In Killing Innocent People | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     The Pentagon defended its position of promoting and funding abortions for servicemembers this week, saying that abortion provides the military with a valuable opportunity to become proficient in killing innocent people.

    "Killing starts at home," said an unusually passionate Pentagon Spokesman John Kirby to reporters. "If we can convince our women in uniform to kill their own beautiful, pure, innocent children, there's no limit to who they will kill for the United States Government."

    "This is just good training."

    Sources confirmed that female servicemembers will be actively encouraged to kill their own offspring on the taxpayer's dime whenever possible. Women with the most abortions will be awarded with commendations, ribbons, and medals to recognize their willingness to murder babies for their country.

    "If we train soldiers to kill babies in America, they will be much better equipped to kill babies in Lebanon, Yemen, or wherever. That's what it's all about!" said Kirby. "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

    At publishing time, President Biden reaffirmed the Pentagon's position, saying that killing America's babies was absolutely necessary in order to protect them.

poll#152

With Roe v Wade (originated in 1973) overturned by the US Supreme Court, thereby allowing decisions on abortion legislation completely returned to the states: Where do you find your position on such a "Life and Death" issue for the American People?

  Yes, I approve of the US Supreme Court's decision to reinstate this "medical" issue back to the states' legislative responsibility to regulate.

  No, I believe that every woman should have complete access to abortion on demand.

  This issue is far beyond my intellectual capacity to understand.

586 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?