Karine Jean-Pierre: 'The Entire Biden Presidency Is A Private Family Matter And I Won't Comment On Private Family Matters.' | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    WASHINGTON, D.C.     White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who both is black and gay, declared she will no longer be answering questions from reporters during the press briefing. She cited the importance of protecting private family matters, which she claimed the Biden presidency technically qualified as.

    "I'm just not going to speak to any private conversation that the President has with his family, especially as it pertains to possible felonies or acts of light treason," Jean-Pierre clarified. "It just wouldn't be appropriate."

    "Because they're a family."

    Members of the media who attempted to limit their questions to matters of policy were also shut down.

    "So look, the President is a man. And that man has a family. Therefore, the entire Biden presidency is a family matter. I won't comment on private family matters," Jean-Pierre said.

    The historic press secretary went on to illustrate her point by comparing the Biden presidency to popular episodes of the hit ABC sitcom Family Matters. "In season 5, episode 7, Steve Urkel teams up with NBA star Larry Johnson, who is dressed in drag as a character called 'Grandmama.' Together, they defeat Eddie Winslow in a game of streetball. Now ask yourself, if Eddie Winslow was your son - a son who got shamed by a total nerd like Urkel - would you want to discuss that information in public?"

    "Of course not. Because it's a family matter."

    Though some members of the media pushed back against Jean-Pierre's reasoning, they came around when she asked them to imagine what it would be like if they were asking themselves the same questions they hurled at the Biden presidency every day.

    "I mean, I guess I wouldn't like it if people asked why I was a pedophile," CNN journalist Jeremy Diamond confessed. "That wouldn't feel good at all."

    Fox News reporter Peter Doocy, however, was not finished. "Okay, but what about Ukraine?" he asked. "Surely, that's not a family matter."

    Jean-Pierre replied sternly. "You really haven't been paying attention, have you?"

poll#183

Considering that the 2024 Presidential Election has fully begun, and the Biden Administration has consequently fully weaponized the Biden DOJ /FBI to attack all political opponents under the penalty of felonious judgement for many of the same alleged crimes, or worse, committed by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden himself: Are you comfortable with this level of overt corruption within the Executive Branch?

  Yes; if Democratic Socialists are to complete the remaking of this "Democracy," the End will Always Justify the Means.

  No; in a Constitutional Republic, the Rule of Law is paramount, which means the law MUST be administered evenly

  Who cares; I am just so ambivalent to all this grown-up stuff.

317 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?