10 Signs Your Public School Teacher Is A Secret Christian | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    The public school system is a minefield for kids these days. While most public schoolteachers are verified, card-carrying leftist indoctrinators, there are a few remaining evangelical Christian operating in the shadows. Fortunately, there are some signals you can look for to help you identify whether or not your child's teacher may even, in fact, be (gasp) a Christian.

    The Babylon Bee is here to help with a list of signs to watch out for to protect your child from potentially being brainwashed by a Bible-believing teacher.

  1. She doesn't teach about gay sex during math: A clear warning sign that she's a bigot.
  2. She doesn't hiss and recoil in terror when you carry a Bible into class: If she doesn't scurry away like a cockroach when the lights are turned on, you should be worried.
  3. She has young children who have not changed their genders: If her kids aren't trans, she not an ally. Not good!
  4. She swoons audibly when she sees your child's Kirk Cameron trapper keeper: Why not just come out and profess your love for Hitler while you're at it?
  5. She treats every kid in class the same, regardless of their skin color: The white kids don't have to sit in the corner? Unconscionable.
  6. She makes it through the first week of school without placing a Wiccan curse on Donald Trump: Any teacher who doesn't wish death upon Trump should be reported.
  7. Whenever Aiden starts doing his thing, she closes her eyes and starts quietly singing "Waymaker" to herself: Doesn't she know there are Pfizer-approved medications for stress?
  8. She does not require all students to salute the Pride flag: And she doesn't even have a BLM flag. Disgusting.
  9. She skips over the part of the science textbook that says Earth is millions of years old: Do we have a full-blown science denier on our hands?
  10. She still has her natural hair color and it's long: Yikes.

    If you see any of the signs listed above, you should run for your life from this potential Christian teacher!
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