Target Attempts To Win Back Customers With New 'Straight White Male Pride Collection' | Eastern North Carolina Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN     Target Corporation is making drastic changes in its product selection in an effort to win back customers following the first quarterly earnings loss in six years. Thus, they have unveiled the new Straight White Male Pride Collection available in stores nationwide.

    The collection will be featured near the entrance of every store where the transgender kids' clothes were once featured.

    "We've always loved straight, white male customers," said Target CEO while wearing a flannel shirt tucked into a pair of Lee™ jeans. "As it turns out, selling products that spit in the face of your core customers' moral values tends to hurt sales a bit. Also, I love all beers except for that super gay Bud Light. Barf-o-rama, amirite?"

    The marketing rollout for the Straight White Male Pride Collection has begun, with ads showing multiple red-headed white guys who look a lot like Oliver Anthony decked out in cargo shorts and Skechers comparing their multi-tools and talking about Ford trucks.

    The collection will also include beard oil, Jordan Peterson posters, and five-gallon drums of mayonnaise.

poll#164

It has been far too many years since the Woke theology interlaced its canons within the fabric of the Indoctrination Realm, so it is nigh time to ask: Does this Representative Republic continue, as a functioning society of a self-governed people, by contending with the unusual, self absorbed dictates of the Woke, and their vast array of Victimhood scenarios?

  Yes, the Religion of Woke must continue; there are so many groups of underprivileged, underserved, a direct result of unrelenting Inequity; they deserve everything.

  No; the Woke fools must be toppled from their self-anointed pedestal; a functioning society of a good Constitutional people cannot withstand this level of "existential" favoritism as it exists now.

  I just observe; with this thoughtful observation: What will happen "when the Vikings are breeching our walls;" how do the Woke react?

848 total vote(s)     What's your Opinion?