Ugly People Rejoice Over Return Of Mask Mandates | Eastern NC Now

    Publisher's note: This post appears here on BCN with the expressed permission of the Babylon Bee - friends that can find your funny bone in a very dark room.

    U.S.     People with unattractive faces celebrated this week as locales and businesses across the nation began reinstituting mask mandates.

    "Finally!" said local schlub Stan Reasons. "It will be so nice to finally cover my unsightly mug."

    The sporadic return of mask mandates has followed a recent uptick in COVID cases due to a mild but contagious variant. "I'm not worried about COVID, I'm just worried about my hideous face," said Ben Reynolds. "This strain is like a common cold. I haze zero concern about catching it - my only concern is catching sight of my ghastly face in a mirror."

    Excitement spread quickly across the ugly community as word spread of the renewed masking measures. "What a gift," said Mr. Reasons. "We're all back on a level playing field, face-wise. I can pose for a picture and once again know that my face will be totally covered by surgical grade polypropylene."

    At publishing time, sources report that Rutgers' mask mandate had instantly transformed it into the number one college for ugly people.

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Considering the irrefutable fact that the Left /the Democratic Socialists, beginning in March of 2020, employed the repetitive use of the Covid Pandemic as a political cudgel to wrest a presidential election, where their candidate rarely left his basement, from a frightened and beaten down citizenry of this Representative Republic: What does your knowledge NOW, in hindsight, aid in your understanding of the motives of the Authoritarian Left?

  The "Left" cares about all Democratics, so it was imperative that we do whatever it took to elect a lifelong politician to become that Democratic Socialist to forever change US.

  Pandemics are serious business, where our leaders must use wisdom and practicable efforts of all that serve to protect the public from not only the pandemic, but these ignoble usurpers of the Left.

  I lost almost everything in the Covid Pandemic, and I want justice; a justice where only the truth prevails, and the rampant fraud that is now legend is remedied.

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